Contact: Susan Meade Tel: 602-482-1487 Fax: 602-867-0368

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SECRET SYMPTOMS OF SHY GUYS WHO SHUN SELF-HELP

Scottsdale, AZ, 01/23/2001 — Fear of commitment among eligible men is approaching epidemic proportions according to Scottsdale Psychologist Dr. Scott Sindelar. "They rarely seek help for this problem on their own, making it frustrating for the women in their lives."

Results from an informal survey by Dr. Sindelar shows that single and divorced men strongly resist the problem-solving approaches taken by many women. Women are much more likely to enter psychotherapy and support groups. It is well known that women buy most of the self-help books and read more magazine articles about men’s relationship problems. Women are also more likely than men to talk to their friends and family to get advice. Sindelar reports, "Men almost never come into my office seeking help for fear-of-commitment issues unless a woman forces them into counseling with an ultimatum. Even then, the guy is usually just trying to prolong the inevitable breakup of the relationship. He is not looking to overcome his fear."

Sindelar has identified secret symptoms of shy guys and has some suggestions for the women in their lives. Fear of commitment shows up as inattention, procrastination, thoughtlessness, and in starting fights (as a way to gain distance). FACT: Many guys have a fear of commitment. They may not admit it to you (or even to themselves) because they do not recognize it. FACT: They really don't want you to point it out to them, and they really don't want you getting mad at them because of it. Your anger will only help them justify avoiding a commitment to you. FACT: Insisting that they do something about their fear of commitment will only drive them away. FACT: These guys often hate to change and WILL NOT change unless they see it as a way to A). Make more money, or B). Improve their score at something, or C). Make you go "Ga-Ga" over them without demanding that they commit to you. FACT: They will not be caught dead buying a book on Fear-of-Commitment.

Why? They're afraid of 1). Being seen with it, and 2). Eventually having to make a commitment if they actually read it. or 3). Being seen as weak or deficient in some area.

Recognizing these facts Sindelar found that these men might just might read a business-related book that could also teach them a thing or two about overcoming fear. He wrote Fear-Free Selling – How To Become Absolutely Fearless Selling Anything: Products, Services, Even Yourself, because it appeals to their desire to be fearless, successful, and to make lots of money. Women can give this type of book to their uncommitted men and have a higher chance of successfully reaching them.

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